Eat More Kale


Greetings and Salutations!

I’ve just returned from my year-and-a-half long sabbatical to the central highlands of tiny,  Hugivesakrapistan (somewhere between Katmandu and Dogmaydpoo).

I went there in search of the meaning of life (and to evade persistent creditors and tax collectors). My search took me to the top of Mt. DingBaht where I came face to face with the wise and venerable YohGee. I asked him what the meaning of life was and he said this. This roughly translates to: “Da Twuuf?! Da Twuuf?! Ewe Kannt Handel da Twuuf!”.

But I was determined to know the twuuf (truth) so I became his disciple (apprentice, valet, maid, housekeeper, bookie, etc.), in the hopes that one day he would reveal the meaning of life to me. That day finally arrived yesterday when YohGee realized that my cache of embezzled funds had run out.  It was then that he led me into the inner chamber of the Temple of Wuh and whispered in my ear this which, depending on the pitch with which the dipthong is sung can mean either “Eat more Kale” or it can mean “42”; either of which are perfectly valid answers.

Now that I’m back, I look forward to humbly sharing my wisdom with da peeples ( schlubs).

And now that the Republican presidential debates will be held next week, I’d like for everyone to look past all the rhetoric and name-calling among the candidates and vote for the one most qualified.

My choice? None other than: Zaphod Beeblebrox (as his campaign video will attest):

See you next week!