Congratulations to my wife on her 30th wedding anniversary (OK… it’s my anniversary too!). If it’s true that ‘time flies when you’re having fun’ then we’ve had a ‘blast’ because it seems like only yesterday when we walked down the aisle.

We were barely toilet-trained at that time (she was only three and I was two-and-a-half)!

After all this time, all I can say to my lovely wife is: I’m sorry. Sorry because I got the best of the deal. After all, I got you and, all you got, was me. I Love YoU!

Veteran’s Day…

Merriam-Websters Online Dictionary provides four definitions for the word “holiday“. The third and fourth definition have little bearing on this day because we are neither British (#3) nor will we be exempt from paying taxes (#4).

The second definition states that a holiday is: a day on which one is exempt from work; a day marked by a general suspension of work in commemoration of an event. For those fortunate enough to work and to have a paid holiday, Veterans Day can serve as a well-deserved break from the weekly grind of our daily jobs and gives us an extra day to enjoy our families and relax.

For Veterans Day however, the first definition is the one that should be on all our minds: HOLY DAY – as in a day to commemorate something sacred. We honor the sacrifice made by service men and woman; our sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers who put their lives ‘on-hold’ to defend our country in times of war and whose sacrifice is sanctified by the blood of those who didn’t return, as well as the wounds and scars of those who did not return whole.

To these sacrificial victims all we can say is: Thank you! To the families of the fallen and injured all we can say is: Thank you! There is nothing we can say or nothing we can do that will mitigate the loss of a loved one. There is little that we can do to ease the physical and emotional hardships that the injured and their families have to suffer every day.

To all you veterans, a warm and heartfelt: Thank you!

On the eve of Veterans Day 2011, it saddened and filled me with rage to read in the Washington Post about the desecration of soldier’s remains by our own armed forces (see article). In the article, unidentified body parts were treated as medical waste and dumped in a Virginia landfill. I think there should be a ceremony where these remains are honored and cremated and then perhaps buried in a common grave at a national cemetery.

I further think that President Bush’s (and continued under Pres. Obama) policy preventing news reports of the arrival of these dead soldier’s caskets at Dover AFB is a mistake. It is important for the American people to see the actual cost of war. This is reality TV at its harshest. Forget about hoarders, repo-men, interventions, Kardashians, and TV shows about other dysfunctional douchebags; this is real pain, real suffering, real tears, and real hardship. The only red carpet for these people is the one they are carried across by pall-bearers. It may help us to understand what we are fighting for and, more importantly, why?

I recently saw a movie that dealt with the subject of the honor due to fallen servicemen and I highly recommend it. It’s called “Taking Chance” and stars Kevin Bacon. See the movie trailer below:

 In 1968, at the height of the ‘flower power’ movement, Sly and the Family Stone had a song called “Everyday People” which had the following line:

“Different strokes for different folks…”

This phrase became very popular and it implied that everyone should live their life as they saw fit without being ‘hassled’ (another late ’60s term) by others trying to make you conform to defined standards (…and so on and so on and scooby dooby doo… ).

The further extension of this utopian mantra is that everything is relative: there is no right and no wrong; what’s right for you might not be right for me (and so on and so on and scooby dooby doo…).

While I find this laissez-faire philosophy acceptable in matters such as hair length and color, music (free form vs. traditional), sports (Yankees vs. Red Sox) etc., there are absolutes in the real world. In matters of personal and professional dealings and ethics, there is a right and there is a wrong. Morality is not relative. 

Click on the following link to read an opinion piece on the de-evolution of morality (or the ultimate outcome of “different strokes for different folks”).

Moral Abdication

In a similar vein, the following article (from 2010) describes some of the problems caused by entitlements in Spain…

The Cost of Spain’s Drop-out Generation

Finally, congratulations to Icanci Formyles for correctly identifying last week’s ‘Lyrical Challenge’. Mr. Formyles correctly identified the song as “Na Na Hey Hey Goodby” by Steam. A minor controversy erupted over this because it seems that, in the format the clue was presented (an equation or formula), the correct answer could also have been: Canceronin (a cure for cancer currently undergoing clinical trials) [according to Steve Hawkings of Cambridge, England] or, if interpreted as an equation, then the answer could also have been: 42 [according to Zaphod Beeblebrox of Trillian]. However, since we were looking for a musical solution, Icanci Formyles is the winner.

Icanci has indicated that he will use his prize (1000 kTuttibucks) to invest in Canceronin when the initial stock offering is made.

Here is this week’s ‘Lyrical Challenge’:

“Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey, whiskey makes my baby feel a little frisky”.

Good Luck.

The Original One-Percenter

That’s right!

By means of these presents, I hereby notify the kkk (kTutti’s kCampaign kCoalition) that I will not be seeking the party’s nomination for President of United States.

While I have not actively campaigned for the nomination, the public has been clamoring for me to throw my hat into the ring (nice hat… eh?). The monetary pledges to fund my campaign have been staggering! I’ve even receive offers from dozens of Nigerian ambassadors to the U.S. to give me bazillions of dollars via wire transfers. Who knew that the U.S. had that many Nigerian ambassadors!

I am compelled to drop out of the presidential race as a result of recent and disturbing revelations, namely: I am not an American; at least not American enough to run for president.

According to those in the ‘birther’ movement, since my mother was not a naturalized American citizen at the time of my birth, I don’t qualify (under Article 2 of the Constitution) as a ‘natural-born’ citizen for the purposes of running for president. In the past, our twenty-first president, Chester Alan Arthur was also ineligible, although he managed to ‘sneak-in’ one term in office. Recently, Florida Senator Marco Rubio has come under fire for the same reason. Sorry Marco, you would’ve been my running mate choice (had I decided to run).

I’m a man without a country and I’ve nowhere to go. I can’t even go to Nigeria (the ambassadors might want their money back).

If you know of any country, territory, principality, or fiefdom that will accept a devastatingly good-looking guy with gazillions in kTuttibucks, drop me a line and let’s talk.

While we’re on the subject of kTuttibucks: Congratulations to Mr. Charlie Bench of Kendall for correctly identifying last week’s lyrical challenge as “Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick” by Ian Drury and the Blockheads. Mister Bench says he will use his new-found wealth to invest in Nigerian blood diamonds. Hey Charlie: For a nominal service charge, I can ‘hook you up’ with my friends in the upper echelons of the Nigerian ambassadorial corp.

This Week’s Lyrical Challenge:

“Na4 + Na4 + Hay3 x (Good + By)”

Good Luck!

Next Week: The British Royal Family Are Vampires! (click here)

]]> http://2aa.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=569 4 http://2aa.com/blog/?p=552 http://2aa.com/blog/?p=552#comments Thu, 06 Oct 2011 20:47:58 +0000 2a http://2aa.com/blog/?p=552

Click on the news article below to read an opinion about the attitude correction necessary for the American work force.

Jobs in America? Puritan values must replace MBA values

Congratulations to Lorraine Farringon of Westchester, the winner of last week’s  lyrical challenge.

Ms. Farringon correctly identified the song as Frank Zappa’s “Cosmik Debris”.

The ‘Central Scrutinizer’ has been tasked with printing your Tuttibucks!

Lorraine has said that she will use the money to obtain dental work for her friend Cornelius. Along with your Tuttibucks, we will be sending you a comprehensive list of all dentists who are affiliated with the kTutti Health Plan.

Note: Due to the size of the list, we will be limiting your dentist selection to 1000 within a two-block radius of your house. Sorry!

Here goes this week’s ‘Lyrical Challenge’:

“In the dock of Tiger Bay, on the road to Mandalay;

From Bombay to Santa Fe; o’er the hills and far away.”

Good Luck!

I didn’t have much to post this week however, I did read an article about a recent government raid on the Gibson guitar factory, complete with SWAT team and all.

It appears to me that Barry Oh is trying to appeal to conservatives by taking a page from the Tricky Dick playbook and making an earnest attempt to kill rock ‘n roll.

If I had a Gibson SG, I’d be windmilling power chords and screaming:

“Meet the new boss! Same as the old boss!”

click here to read The Gibson Raid: Much to fret about

On a happier note: Congratulations to Atanasio de la Fonseca O’Herlihy XXII for correctly identifying the artist and song from last week’s Lyrical Challenge as King Crimson’s “Epitaph”.

Mr. XXII has told me that the prize money (1,000 Tuttibucks) will be used to re-supply his business (he owns a used Corvair lot in Barcelona). Good Luck with that!

Here is this week’s “Lyrical Challenge” (name the song and artist):

“Is that a real poncho? or is that a Sears poncho?”

Good Luck.

I am recalling this because recently I became aware that Glen suffers from Alzheimer’s Disease and has decided to go on one last road tour. He has dubbed this as the “Goodbye Tour”. In the interview that I saw, he spoke about his condition and how his wife is helping him to cope with it. Far from being bitter, he acknowledged being sad about forgetting the wonderful things that life brought him, but also said that there were things he had done that he didn’t mind forgetting.

He is a very talented person: As a Capitol Records studio musician, he’s played with artists ranging from Elvis and Frank Sinatra and has toured with the Beach Boys. Besides being an excellent singer, he is also a tremendous guitar talent.

Here is the song I best remember him by:

Also:

Congratulations to Angus McNebbish from Lower Slobovia, last month’s winner of the ‘Lyrical Challenge’ contest.
Mr. McNebbish correctly identified the contest lyrics as being from the Mariane’s third act aria from the opera “Tartuffe”. Angus will soon be receiving his prize: a thousand kTuttiBucks!
Remember that kTuttiBucks are redeemable wherever fine kTuttiMerch is sold.

This weeks “Lyrical Challenge”:
“Knowledge is a deadly friend
When no one sets the rules.
The fate of all mankind I see
is in the hands of fools.”

If you can identify the musical work these lines are from (and the artist who perform it), you can win a THOUSAND kTUTTIBUCKS!! (I know, I know, sounds too good to be true). Good Luck!

Photo taken Sept. 2, 2000 by 'Storm Crypt'

Recent violent events in our nation have generated a hue and cry for more civility in the tone of our political discourse. It is now considered impolite and un-civil to refer to Republicans as “knuckle-dragging, fascist morons”. By the same token, it is in poor taste to refer to Democrats as “limp-dick, commie bastards”. Even “Red” and “Blue”, when used to describe conservative or liberal philosophies, are now too stark, too blatant to suit our new-found sensitivities. Therefore, to ameliorate (yes, I had to look that one up!) the situation (not the guy from ‘Jersey Shore’), I propose that henceforth we label all Republicans as ‘Fuchsia’ (along with all conservative topics, ideas, values, and tomes), and all Democrats as ‘Periwinkle’ (along with all corresponding ideas, topics, etc.).

I believe that measures like this will go a long way towards turning our society away from passion and vibrancy and towards the more politically acceptable attitude of the politically correct. It also goes a long way in blurring the divisions between both camps: after all, does anyone really know what color fuchsia and periwinkle really are?

With political correctness our religion du jour, the classic work of Mark Twain “Huckleberry Finn” has been revised in order to eliminate the dreaded “N” word. In keeping with this effort in making our classics more socially acceptable and less offensive and violent, I have undertaken the task of rewriting the lyrics of some of our most famous (and offensive) tunes.

This week: Hey Joe (written by Billy Roberts and popularized by Jimi Hendrix):

The rest of the song is revised in a similar fashion. To further sanitize the tune, Hendrix’s guitar solo will be performed by Kenny G. and Yanni.

Next week: Frank Zappa’s “Broken Hearts Are For A$$hole$”.

Extreme rhetoric has always been a part of our political and ideological landscape. During the election campaign between John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, Jefferson referred to Adams as a “hideous hermaphroditical character, which has neither the force and firmness of a man, nor the gentleness and sensibility of a woman” (see reference here). In response, Adams referred to the author of the Declaration of Independence as “a mean-spirited, low-lived fellow, the son of a half-breed Indian squaw, sired by a Virginia mulatto father” (ibid). In the 1964 election campaign, President Johnson’s campaign created a television ad that implied that a vote for his opponent, Sen. Barry Goldwater, was a vote for nuclear annihilation (see ad here)!

Those intent on violence need no provocation. They can find justification even in the Betty Crocker cookbook. We should treat everyone as we would like to be treated but, just because others behave badly towards us, that doesn’t mean we’re free to respond in kind.

Let the healing begin!

Dominus vobiscum

As I have mentioned in earlier posts (see here), “CSI Miami” is among my favorite television programs. I find the show to be very funny, although I suspect their intent is to be serious. It is like the proverbial ‘train-wreck’: you just can’t look away.

As the poem goes … “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…”:

• As a resident of Miami, I enjoy seeing the colorful city views in every episode although I’ve noticed that regardless of whether they are going to the “ritziest” or “rattiest” neighborhoods in town, they are always going on the same causeway to Star Island (real estate prices must fluctuate wildly there)! (Click→Yeaahhh!)

 • The ladies on this show are always ‘lookin’ fine (although Emily Proctor has ‘chubbed-up’ a bit in the last episode: perhaps she’s preggers?)

• The acting is superb! The entire cast exhibit a wide range of emotions – from indifference to apathy – with such verve and panache! David Caruso is, without a doubt, the pre-eminent thespian of the age, even better than Laurence Olivier (although perhaps Sir Laurence was a better actor when he was alive!) (Click→ YEAHHH)

But the best part of this show are the story lines. The writers for this show must be doing some very heavy acid (LSD) to come up with plot for each episode. They be trippin’ boy! (Click→uh–yeahhhh). Here are a few of the recent episode plots:

• A man looking to commit suicide jumps off the roof of a Miami high-rise, only to compound his bad luck by being accidentally shot on the way down by a person trying to kill another person on a balcony many floors below. Talk about crappy luck! (Click →YEAHHHHH)

• A mad genius manages to poison the entire CSI crime lab through the ventilation system… while he’s in prison! I really enjoyed this episode because I was hoping no one would survive (Click→SIIIIIIIII). My hopes were dashed however, when “H” (who was out of the office at the time searching for his sunglasses) and Delko (who was also out of the office at the time searching for some acting talent), managed to arrive in time to save everyone – except the guy that had been written out of the show (lucky guy).

• This week’s storyline was as implausible as Dick Cheney double-dating with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. In this episode, the mother of a teenage girl who is being cyber-stalked meets the stalker and shoots him in the head (pretty normal TV fare so far). The bullet however, careens inside the stalkers skull and exits through the same hole it went in, travels across the street and enters the body of a woman driving along the street – killing her! This one really ‘blew my mind!’ (Click→DOHHHHH). This episode was also memorable because in it “H” managed to shut down a water main break with a crowbar and a pipe wrench! And we even catch a glimpse of “H”s sadistic side when he puts the two people accused of the murder in the same cell so that he can watch them ‘go’ at each other!

I don’t know how much longer “H” and company can keep on going, although with the energy that the cast generates, they can probably continue into the next millenium. It would probably also depend on an unlimited supply of ‘orange sunshine’ to the writer’s room. If this show should ever end, then I’ll have to watch the only other show which is its peer in terms of content, style, writing, and acting talent. (Click→Click here, if you dare!))

The following video clip was sent by my good friend Vince (thanks Vince!) and I found it very interesting and inspiring. Hope you do too!

I’ve also recently posted an article on the topic of ’community service’ in the Westchester Optimist website. Click here to read.